Ethereal
by RadiantSeraphina
Summary: Johan Andersen sees things that don't exist. Yuki Judai hunts things that aren't supposed to.


Johan Andersen saw things that didn't exist. He saw people, rotten and battered, creep through the halls. He saw dogs, with their ribs exposed, pant after the men in the asylum. He saw many things, things which noticed him and spoke to him, but no one else saw them. There were other things, too. There was a small, purple cat with ruby-like eyes that liked to climb on Johan's shoulder and curl around his neck. Johan, who'd never been very creative at naming animals, called her Ruby. The little animal was among the reasons Johan was diagnosed with having moral decay, but Johan privately thought he might be madder if the small creature abandoned him. The creature was the only one who understood Norwegian, and Johan thought some days that he might forget the language entirely if the cat ever stopped speaking back to him.

The physicians became frustrated when he spoke Norwegian. That'd been the language Johan always used when he'd first been admitted, back when he was still filled with bitterness and fire. In the beginning, he'd still been furious his father sent him there, and he'd taunted the doctors _just _to see them angry. He'd pretend alternately like he didn't speak English and then like the only English he knew was a poor translation of Shakespeare's _Hamlet. _That was long ago, though. That was back when Johan hadn't _known _there was something badly wrong with him.

Actually, there were still some days when Johan felt like he might be the only sane man in the asylum. There were days when he imagined that everyone _normal _saw things that weren't there, and it was everyone else that was strange. Besides, he was sixteen—or was he seventeen now? Eighteen?—and he'd dealt with the visions for years before anyone tried to help him. Tried to _fix_ him. They weren't trying to help; they were trying to _fix_, as if Johan was a botched painting that could be fixed with a little more paint. _Always _a little more paint. A little more medicine, a little flick of a knife, a little more _prayer_.

His mother Ingrid had never noticed that Johan saw things, or if she had, she never made note of it. Johan remembered watching her die and how she'd drifted from her body and looked at him with green eyes that mirrored his own. She said nothing and vanished, leaving her son with the body of his mother and a father, newly-returned from his mistress, who had neither the time nor the inclination to humour a son who spoke to things that no one else could see. That was too long ago. Sometimes, Johan even wondered if he'd dreamed it and been in the asylum his whole life. Maybe he was mad, dreaming of being something _close _to normal.

He barely remembered leaving Kristiania. It was one of many things he didn't quite remember; it was a black spot in his life, something he'd forgotten between the medicines, the bleedings, and the darkness. It was dark unless one of the staff was coming to see him, and they rarely brought anything welcoming. Food was scarce, water even more so, and the doctors seemed more inclined to see him when he needed bled rather than when he was merely lonely.

The cat butted Johan's chin, seeking affection. "Sorry. I was just thinking," he murmured.

The cat meowed, seemingly accepting his apology, and leaped from his shoulder. Johan could barely see the creature snaking through the darkness. The cat paused, and its ears moved. The creature hissed and darted back to Johan's shoulder. Johan felt a vague pressure in his shoulder, where the claws of the cat clung into his flesh. It didn't feel entirely _real_, but the cat never did.

There were footsteps outside the door, and Johan tensed. The door creaked open, and the light was blinding. He blinked rapidly, his eyes watering, as a tall man entered the room—if it could really be _called _a room. All the dcotors called it a room, but the doctors weren't chained to a wall inside it. Johan called it a prison—only to Ruby, though. He'd once spat at a doctor that it was a prison, and he'd since learned better. After all, couldn't Johan understand that they were trying to _cure _him and his not seeing that was _proof _that he was a lunatic like they said?

Johan's throat was dry and felt like something was lodged in it, so it took him a moment to find his voice. "What is it?" he rasped.

The doctor set his lantern on the ground, some distance away, and smiled gently. That particular doctor—Doctor Hawthorne? Locke?—Johan was horrible with names. He couldn't even remember what _this _doctor looked like. Johan recognized the man when he arrived, but even then, he couldn't begin to describe him. Any attempts to distinguish his face left Johan with headaches.

The doctor, whatever his name was, looked and acted as if he was gentle, but he was the worst. His visits meant knives and blood. Johan had scars from the man's knife, and he'd long learned that no amount of begging or insistence would keep the man from bleeding him. The man cooed over Ruby's hisses and sliced through Johan's flesh, always _insisting _it was for the best. "Just checking on my patient," the doctor answered.

Ruby's tall curled around Johan's neck, and the cat hissed. _Don't touch him!_

Johan wanted to pet the creature's head, but doing that would only convince the man across from him that he really was still entirely mad and seeing things that didn't exist. "I'm the same as you left me," he replied.

The doctor leaned closer, his eyes—what colour were they?—portraying nothing but concern. "Johan, there's no need to be terse with me."

Johan knew those words foretold another lecture, so he ducked his head and forced a sad smile. "I apologize. That wasn't very polite. It's just…frustrating, Sir. Doctor."

"I understand your impatience, Johan, but you need to cooperate. That's the only way for you to be better."

"I am better," said Johan. "I haven't seen…anything."

The doctor sighed. "You've said that before, and it wasn't true. Unfortunately, you've proven yourself to be quite the actor. You can't be released until we know you're really well. It's for you as much as for anyone else."

"Who else? I _have _no one else," Johann replied.

"Your father…"

"Hasn't seen me since he left me here. I'm fairly sure he doesn't care. Strangers will come and see me, and my father won't," Johan said.

The doctor ran a hand through his hair. "Johan," he said, "I know you don't understand everything, but he only wants you to be well. It's difficult for a man of his station. Surely, you know this, don't you?"

"Of course, I know," Johann muttered.

He knew all too well. He _understood_, and he _hated _that he understood. Johan wanted to hate his father, but he _couldn't_. Anders was still his father, still the man who'd provided for Johan and his mother. Johan took a deep breath. "I just want someone…" he trailed off, his bitterness fading abruptly.

"Of course, you do," the doctor replied, patting Johan's hair affectionately.

Ruby hissed. _Don't touch him! Johan! _

Johan shook his other shoulder slightly, trying to dislodge the cat, whose claws clung uncomfortably to him. "This will all pass, Johan; I promise," the doctor muttered. "Do you understand?"

Johan took a deep breath, suddenly feeling very empty. "Yes, I understand."

_Stop touching him! _Ruby screeched. _Don't touch my brother!_

Honestly, Johan didn't know why the cat was so angry. The doctor was just touching his shoulder. What was so wrong with that? It didn't _hurt_ like Ruby thought it did. "I'm fine," said Johann distantly.

"You will be," the doctor said, ruffling his hair.

It was too familiar, but Johan didn't stop the man. It felt almost like his mother brushing his hair when he was young. His mother had marvelled at Johan's hair, how _thick _it was and blue of all colours. Ingrid's hair was wispy and so blonde it was nearly white, and Johan's father had similar hair. _Johan, make him stop! _Ruby wailed. _Bite him!_

The cat jumped from Johan's shoulder and barrelled into the man's chest. _Away from my brother! _She meowed.

"It hurts," Johan said abruptly. "Everything hurts."

"Of course," replied the doctor. "Your mother dying, being like you are, feeling trapped. Of course, it hurts."

Johan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Make it stop," he whispered. "Please."

"Of course."

_Johan! Johan, please!_

When Johan opened his eyes, they were alarmingly misty. "You just want a home, right?" the doctor asked. "That's all. A family. You can have that; there's no reason you shouldn't."

Johann nodded, only barely aware of the action. Everything was becoming blurry and numb. He heard a sharp hiss, and Ruby leaped onto the other man's shoulder, her tail brushing across Johan's neck. _I said leave him alone!_

The doctor moved his hand from Johan's shoulder and brushed the cat's tail. Ruby drew back, hissing. It was like the man actually touched her, but people didn't _touch _Ruby. They went through her—Johan's breath caught in his throat, and suddenly, everything was back in-focus. He gasped for breath, while the doctor stared at him, concerned and curious and _horrifying. _"What did you do to me?" Johan asked. "Why did I say those things?"

"I've done nothing to you. You only said what you thought," the doctor responded soothingly. "Calm down."

Ruby meowed loudly, and—_so small! I'm so small and can't help. Amethyst could help, but she's not here, and Johan! He's hurting you! You don't know, but he is. He'll hurt you, and you won't be Johan anymore. Scream, scratch, fight him! _

"Get out," Johan said.

"You see something, don't you?" the man asked. "It's not real. You're mad, Johan. Mad and sick. You should consider yourself fortunate that we care. How many people do you think care about some wit-addled boy from Norway?

Johan turned his head and bit the doctor's wrist as hard as he could. The doctor screamed and tried to pull his wrist free. There were footsteps coming quickly down the hall, so Johan released the man's wrist. Ruby curled around Johan's neck and hissed. The doctor scrambled backwards at the same moment that two more men burst into the door. "What happened?" one asked.

Johan laughed. "I was feeling hungry and bit him. Isn't it obvious?"

The doctor got to his feet. "Gag him," he said. "Clearly, he's lost his wits."

"Never had them to begin with," Johan said.

Ruby purred, and Johan shakily patted her head.

* * *

**A/N: **Cross-posted to AO3. Comments appreciated as always, but if you read-and-run, that's all good, too. ;)


End file.
